Does your partner puts his/hers own needs

and desires above all other priorities?

 

Is your partner using devious means to convince you, that its correct?

 

We reveal the outline profile of a manipulative partner,

in order to help you avoid the traps ...!

What can I tell you my dear ... if you think this person is suitable for you, who am I to talk?

 

Lets choose a name and a gender for our story. Its “Him” – “Bob”.

 

-  I spent many weekends without “Bob”, do you think I cant live without him and commit suicide? I do not think so...

-  Mind your business and not waste your time to listen to my problems .

-  Car? You buy a new car? I feel dizzy.

-  Some day you will remember me, will come in my words, but it will be too late.

-  Get married, when you want to, but you can forget us!

-  You were a responsible person, but not now that you take such a wrong decision.

-  Go out and have fun, do not stress about me, is this first or the last night I will spend in front of the TV?

-  I did it because I thought it’s the best for our future. Sorry that I didn’t talk about it before.

 

These cases, and many similar, get us angry, hit on our nerves, maybe they make us laugh, in any case, they all remind us of something.

What is this; The one person trying to manipulate the other!!!

 

• What is it

Someone trying to manipulate the other is an element of personality found in many people, who put their own needs  and desires above all others and use side ways to make others agree. Of course, we all have needs, desires, opinions, and preferences and it is normal and expected, to express and assert them, but we will have to do it directly, by discussing, asking, explaining and showing others our opinion and / or our desire. Instead, manipulative people are not clear, use secretism, by not giving full disclosure, they use emotions or blackmail and try to create fear, guilt, pity ... to the others. They use, “side ways”, secretism, cover up stories, "passive-aggressive" ways, in order to create emotions and to justify their words and actions and in a lot of cases they use others, as a back up support.

 

• How to recognize them

Being manipulative does not describe the whole character, but an element of this personality. Manipulative are the narcissists,  they love themselves, people with borderline personality (with unusual levels of instability in mood, emotion and behavior), people with antisocial personality (do not respect the social norms, etc.). However, manipulative are also people without a personality disorder.

Manipulative are not just demanding, they are often spoiled, they do not like rejection, and so they use all the means to do what they want and bring others to the point where it suits them. Manipulative are also people who are insecure and unable or afraid to demand what they want. So, they try to bring the others to a point to do what they want, presenting it, however, as their own choice.

 

• Their relationships with others

The manipulative is often successful. They battle and have arguments, especially with people clear and straight. As it is obvious, they easily become unpleasant to people around them, who do not tolerate such things easily. Usually they end up to a  specialist because they have problems with others, but they get shocked when the specialist explains why they are experiencing difficulties in their relationships.

 

• The root of evil

All children are manipulative, because – due to age – they have greater 'access' to emotion than to logic. But not all are becoming manipulative adults. Definitely a manipulative adult temperament is to be concerned. Its usually someone who wants to do his own thing.

As a child was taught to mimic people from the surrounding, who were using this circuitous route or as growing in age, learned to manipulate others to attract attention. There is also the possibility that, having grown up in a very strict and absolute environment, found this way to express opinions and wants.

 

• Life with a manipulative partner

Often these people are not fully aware of what they do, but the attempt to manipulate us, is part of their personality.                        When, of course, they begin to realise, that it works and they achieve their goals, they continue this practice in order to impose on others. When we have such people in our life, we need to help them realize, that what they do is bothering us. Our response must be clear and our conduct systematic and continuous,  telling them that they are trying to force us and manipulate us and that it is not acceptable or to put it more clear: UNACCEPTABLE!