Practitioners argue that there are twelve most common problems they hear from couples.
1. "MY MIND DOES NOT STOP THINKING '
Julie Binderman, Deputy Director of Interactive Therapy of Greater Washington says that its commonly mentioned by women that they often notice that their mind is often restless during sex. This is even more true for women who are mothers, since the maternity pressure can prevent any sexual thought. It may sound contradictory, but the sex programming can help the couple. From then introduce some new games or sex position can further stimulate the process.
2. "I'M A MAN, I CAN NOT BE ALL LOVIE-DOVIE”
"When I talk with couples, men often feel trapped in perception, that they must be emotionally Neanderthals“ says Gary Brown, a marriage and relationships consultant in Los Angeles. Many men say that they would like to be closer to their partner in and out of the bedroom, but they just can not find the way to achieve this. Women can make it easier, than men to show in a more creative way that we are all vulnerable and we all have a softer side. Also women can feel more affection, when men make take the step and show some sensitivities. All has to do, with positive reinforcement.
3. "ALWAYS I HAVE TO DO THE FIRST MOVE”
Resentment comes when one of them feels left out, that he always makes the first move, and the other just waits for when it will occur. What, both partners in a relationship need to understand, is that when the desire for sex comes to one of them, it must be expressed and not to allow competitive moods (of who made the first step) to spoil their mood, supports sex therapist Jane Greer. And if you are on the side that constantly make the move, what your partner needs to understand, is that you also wants to see from him, that you desired.
4. "WHAT HAPPENED TO FOREPLAY?"
Surely you've heard it from someone else, especially if that person in a relationship for many years . Where there is such an issue between a couple, the solution is very practical and simple, says Fran Walfish (psychologist and consultant relations in Beverly Hills). Simply, when you need a certain touch, do not expect your partner to guess. Just direct him on what you want.If you get to talk, about what you want to happen or to happen more frequently, DO NOT GO IN CIRCLES. Talk specifically about what concerns you, always with positivity to your reasoning. This way, it will seem, less like criticism and more like encouragement for something already happening.
5. "I WISH WE WERE MORE AFFECTIONATE WITH EACH OTHER"
Fortunately, this is a pleasant way of correction. "Every day, we should say something nice to each other, something we appreciate," says Nikki Martinez, director of Betterhelp.com. If this is too mechanical for your tastes, Martinez, recommends the inclusion of small movements of gratitude and love in the everyday day life of the couple. Simple, small movements that include, touches, without physical contact and eye contact.
6. "SUFFERING FROM EMOTIONAL ATTACHMENT?"
When there is good sex, but one of the two is emotionally detached, then that's problem. There are cases, where both feel that the emotions, they have to share are poor and that’s what we call "empty sex," says Gary Brown. To banish this feeling work in promoting intimacy outside the bedroom. Spend more time together doing things, obtain joint activities that will help you to form additional linkages and explore what your partner loves more.
7. "TRYING TO HAVE A BABY EXERTS TREMENDOUS PSYCHOLOGICAL PRESSURE"
When a couple is trying to get a baby, that spontaneous requirement oppresses anything nice there is in the sexual process. There should be a balance between the need for conception and spontaneity. The communication between the couple is the one that will define this imaginary line, as some men want to know everything about the cycle of the woman, while others prefer not to go into such details. In any category is the man, it does not matter. What matters is that the sense of excitement in sex, gets easily rekindled and what is more beautiful than the ultimate purpose of that feeling? Trying to have a baby, should look like fun and not a chore.
8. "NO ORAL SEX"
If you want oral sex and your partner does not offer it to you , you may feel rejected. This may subsequently lead to the loss of interest and the feeling of sexual intimacy, supports Greer. Dialogue is still an option, and the guidance indicating that it can happen once in a while, implies that there is an investment in the enjoyment and carrying for each other.
9. “TRYING FOR A FAMILY, RUINED OUR SEX LIFE “
Stress and sleep deprivation is leading to predatory fatigue, and can throw the bends in your sex life (in quantity, duration and quality), but not everything is lost. Many couples have managed to overcome the crisis that first time family created by repeating a satisfactory romantic life. The first thing to do is to clarify what it is that ruins your sex mood (can be physical fatigue accumulated during the day, financials, etc.). Next what is needed, is the couple, to convey any unexpressed and unfulfilled needs, for emotional connection and intimacy, says Brown. A therapist can help effectively.
10. "I THINK / MY COMPANION TAKES ME FOR GRANTED”
Dialogue is the only way to address this issue. The main problem for the person who feels in such a way, is the feeling that the other half does not appreciate it.
"In therapy I advise couples to communicate directly with each other when one of them, feels like that and not to avoid the issue," says Martinez.
11. "QUICK EJACULATION"
This is a common problem among many couples, and if it has started from the beginning of the relationship, it is sure that in process it will become bigger and it will emerge in various phases. If it occurs regularly, you should encourage your partner to visit a specialist, in order to determine if there is a medical cause, says Walfish.
12. "JUST DO NOT HAVE MUCH SEX!"
Again, dialogue is the key tool on this issue, since the person, who feels that there is not enough sex is the one who feels more loneliness and the other half can not understand it, without a guide. Compromising is a solution, but obviously not the ideal. A discussion on the desire frequency, will shed light on the dark areas of this topic, says Greer. Set times that you are both willing to try new things and indulge in experiments that will bring you closer. Experimentation can bring you back to good and frequent sex" adds the Martinez.
In an ideal world couples have sex,
enjoy it and there are no problems to solve.
We all know that this is not true in real life.
All couples have come with an issue in their sexual life.